“So many women treat life as a constant status update,” says Jane Buckingham, founder of the Millennial-focused research firm, Trendera. “They’re thinking about how their lives look instead of how their lives feel.”
I read this quote a few weeks ago and it really resonated with me. So I did a little research and found out that it was from a Cosmo article. This obsession with having what appears to be a perfect life is pervasive. From clothes, to pictures, to Facebook status updates, Millennials go to great lengths to project a picture perfect life. People are so concerned with having a life that LOOKS perfect to everyone on the outside that they forget that what really matters is how their life feels on the inside.
Don't get me wrong... there are so many things I LOVE about social media... it helps me stay in touch with my friends who are near and far, it keeps me up to date on current events and news, and it allows me to interact with new people. However, social media is not without its faults and negative side effects. One of these negative effects is that social media can absolutely send your self esteem plummeting. Seeing everyone around you living what appears to be a picture perfect life can lead to a lot of self doubt.
Facebook is a prime example of this. How many times have you logged into Facebook only to find your timeline splattered with people bragging about their perfect lives including (but not limited to) their engagements, babies, hot bodies, ridiculous work outs, new designer (insert item here), job promotions, amazing relationships etc. There is SO much pressure on our generation to be perfect and this results in people presenting a completely fabricated image of themselves and their lives on their Facebook pages, Twitter feeds, Instagrams and blogs (but not this one of course!). Don't get me wrong- I love me some Louboutin shoes, I was super excited to get my new jobs, and I have posted a swimsuit pic or two in my time (but I worked stinking hard for that body and I had no problem admitting that!) You better believe that when I get engaged I will be over joyed to make it Facebook offish and I will post many ridiculously cute photos. I have no problem posting about these things in moderation and updating my friends on my life. However, I don't think from looking at my Facebook page anyone would think that I have a perfect life or that I pretend to. There are things I love about myself and things I don't. I have good days and I have really bad days. I am human! At the end of the day I realize that no status update on Facebook is going to enhance my life in any way, shape or form. I may be able to fool others but I can't fool myself. I do my best to portray to others that in my life God gets all the glory for the blessings I have. I did nothing to deserve any of them. Without Him and His grace I would be nothing!
To top it off, the perfect lives that everyone portrays on social media can "trigger (a) confidence crash when there’s nothing good to report or, worse, a humiliating photo or less-than-flattering piece of news about your job or relationship status goes public," according to
Cosmopolitan.
Lezzz be honest here... at one point or another we have all spent time creeping on our friends (and frienimies) and comparing our lives to theirs. Whether you want to admit it or not, comparisons like this always magnify your feelings of inadequacy and lead to massive amounts of self doubt. I can't think of any time when I have creeped on someone and walked away from my computer like "WOW! My life is so awesome! Go me!". Infact, 99% of the time the opposite is true and I am left feeling bad about myself and my situation. "I don't have as much money as her" or "she has better genes than me I will never be that thin" or "she gets everything" or "he is so stupid how did he get THAT job?"... the list of inequities and doubts goes ON and ON and ON. It turns me into someone who I frankly don't like or recognize. What I finally had to realize is that ALL you see on Facebook/Twitter is the best of everyone's life. Almost no one is willing to admit that they had a bad day, lost their job, got their heart broken, gained 20 lbs, etc. because it doesn't add to their "picture perfect" persona. If they put up their "highlight" reel and you compare it to your outtakes and bloopers... clearly things are NOT going to match up!
The Cosmo article I read also had a good point: "Today’s young women are so busy trying to figure out what would impress their FB friends and Twitter followers, they have a harder time pinpointing their own true desires." How exhausting! I think that is the greatest truth we can pull out of all of this. Don't get so caught up in trying to be perfect that you ignore what you want out of life and what is truly important to YOU.
I am a firm believer that God has a plan for each and every single one of us. He gives us special talents to use. He puts dreams in our head and desires in our hearts to guide us to the plans that He has for us. DON'T IGNORE THESE TALENTS, DREAMS, THOUGHTS and DESIRES! They are there for a reason!
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One of my favorite verses ever is Jeremiah 29:11. I have found myself seeking refuge in these words so many times throughout my life. Somehow this scripture always offers comfort when my soul is troubled. These words remind me that God has a plan for ME. Specifically for me. I am but one of his MANY children and yet He has a plan for me. Think about that for a second... my mom is an absolutely amazing mom but she can barely keep track of a plan for me and my sister for one day, much less for a week. God has a plan for our ENTIRE life. Not only does He have a plan, He has plans for good things in my life. He knows I will encounter evil in the world and yet He has plans to combat it. God has got everything figured out... not only for me, but for you as well. It really just blows my mind to think about how amazing our God is. Through Christ's salvation he gave us hope and a future. He loves us more than we can even fathom. His love is unconditional. It has no beginning and no end. He promises us that when we pray, He will listen and that if we seek Him wholeheartedly we will find Him.
God knows where you need to be in your life at each and every single minute. Where you are RIGHT now is where He wants you to be. You are reading this blog for a reason. Maybe He just wanted to remind you that He loves you and that despite the worries, fears, and tribulations of life you are exactly where you need to be. God has things that He wants to do to you and through you. He has lessons to teach you and He may need to use you to teach others. Allow Him to mold you. Give Him your heart and TRUST in Him. If you seek Him you will find Him and He will lead you to the life He has planned for you and you alone.
One of my devotionals had a beautiful reminder this week. It said "Trust Him. Depend on Him. Seek Him first. Acknowledge His infinite wisdom and power. He is the perfect Father. He'll never leave you waiting because He forgot. God is like the dad who is already there before you even realize that you need him. He will help you through everything."
This imagery really stuck with me. I remember being in high school and although I never drank or did anything crazy I still wanted to fit in. I would beg and beg my parents to let me go to the parties and I promised to call them to come get me if things got out of hand. My parents trusted me and would normally let me go for a while just so I could hang out with my friends. There were so many times I can recall being at one of these parties and suddenly feeling like I didn't fit in because I wasn't drinking. Things would start to get out of hand and I would panic. Just as I would reach for my phone to call my mom or dad I would look down to see that I already had a text from them. "I am here, text me when you are ready to leave." Just like God, my parents knew I would need them and that I would want to go home before I even knew it. When you are tired of trying to make things "perfect" in your life and you are ready to turn to God he is already there waiting outside in the car for you to text Him.
If you read nothing else in this post I want you to read this (I guess if you are this far down you are probably pay attention haha)
God doesn't want the "perfect Facebook status update".
He wants you to come to Him bruised and broken. He knows everything that troubles your heart and He wants you to turn to Him to heal it.
And this is the best news... Ladies, if you have God in your life it will be PERFECT because you will be living out His plans for you. (No, not every single day will be perfect but you will be able to see the bigger picture even on those days and you will be able to trust in His plans and His love).
So please do this for me (and for YOU):
Stop comparing yourself to others.
Remember- He has a plan specifically for you. That means that your plan is unlike anyone elses. I can guarantee that if you put Him first in your life you will see how petty so many of the things that used to rob you of self esteem truly are.
Focus on what you want out of life. What is important to you? If you sit down and think about it I don't think designer clothes, purses, cars, ripped bodies, alcohol, etc is going to be the list. If those things are really that important to you go check out the Jersey Shore or another such reality show. They can advise you accordingly haha.
Stop worrying about how your life looks and worry about how it feels. Spend more time with God making something of yourself. Focus on the feelings and the people, not on the things. Make something out of your life. When you stop trying to impress others you will. Live you life for Him and I promise no "perfect" Facebook status will compare.
Log off Facebook and log in to life!