Jesus is my valentine.

When it comes to love its safe to say I have always been a hopeless romantic. From the first time I watch The Little Mermaid I have been searching for my Prince Eric. I am also incredibly passionate about chocolate so you'd think a day that combines love and chocolate would be my favorite however I have always hated Valentine's day! I think my deep rooted hatred for this holiday began back in the elementary and middle school days when I attended a private all girls school. It's hard to get too excited about giving/receiving Valentine's cards from other class mates when they are all female. In middle school, despite social events centered around Valentine's day such as the Valentine's dance several events (such as being dumped by my first boyfriend) tainted this holiday and left me despising all the cute hearts and flowers. As an adult I have spent many Valentine's days alone and miserable. This day has served only as a brutal slap in the face that I am single and my prince Eric was no where to be found. If it weren't for my sweet precious mom there is no way I would have survived so many February 14ths. She has always gone out of her way to make this day bearable.

Last Valentine's day was a particularly terrible one for me. I was fresh off a horrible break up, my best friend was happily engaged, and everyone around seemed to have love except me. I spent the evening at home with my pups, sitting on the couch crying and on February 14th, 2012 I gave up on love. I remember feeling so lost that day and saying a desperate prayer to God. Hopelessly (and honestly as a last resort), I surrendered to His plan and asked the Lord to write my love story. It only took 24 years, two major heartbreaks, and about 20 of the wrong guys to come to the realization that the love I was seeking was never going to truly fulfill me. Love is not a bouquet of flowers. Love is not chocolate. Love is not expensive gifts. If you want to read a love story pick up the bible.


True love, the everlasting, unconditional kind, is the love that God has for us. I finally realized that if I wanted this love I was going to have to give my heart to God and trust Him to put it in the hands of a man who loved Him first. Little did I know, while I sat there that Valentine's day sobbing and reflecting on the past loves I'd lost, God saw me at my breaking point and put his divine plan into action. I read a quote that said "Christians are like glow sticks: they must be broken in order to shine". It took me being broken to see the light and turn to God so that His love could shine through me and I could finally find the right kind of love. On February 15th, in a situation so crazy that the only explanation is that it was orchestrated by God himself, I met Logan Bawcom. People may call it chance or fate but Loagn and I both know that it was God who lead us to one another. Not only did he lead us to each other, he spent time showing us how He had made us for one another. From our faith, to our passions, to our family, even down to the books we had read...I connected with Logan more in the first ten minutes than I had with any other guy in my life. One of the things that stood out to me was when Logan said that he didn't have a girlfriend because he believed in soulmates and he trusted that God had made someone special just for him and he wasn't going to settle for less. Until last year I hadn't really given much thought to the concept of "soulmates" until my aunt told me to start praying that God would lead me to that person. Logan also told me that he had prayed his whole life for me and I realized then that he truly was the answer to my prayers.

I feel so blessed to have the love story that I do. I will never doubt for one minute that God brought me to Logan and that keeping Him at the center of our relationship is the only way to make us last. However, my love story is not your love story. If you are alone this Valentine's day or you have someone who is maybe not the right one, I would encourage you to have hope. Let God write your love story and I promise He will put Nicholas Sparks to shame. I have been in your shoes many many many times and I know the flood of emotions this holiday can bring. Unlike man, God will never fail us, forsake us, or leave us. His love is not like a bouquet of flowers that blooms for a few short days and then perishes. His love is not contingent on a gift. He loves us every minute of every single day and His love conquers all. He will never stop pursuing your heart. God is love...Cupid ain't got nothing on Him. Happy Valentines day!